While it's hard not to spill the details of you and your new boyfriend's sex life to friends over brunch a la Sex and the City, you might want to consider talking to your partnerabout your bedroom behavior, too. Unfortunately, most people are talking to their friends about their sex lives more than they're discussing it with their significant others, according to a new survey by Match.com.
They found that 57 percent of women talk sex with their friends, while only 47 percent bring it up with their partners. Similarly, 48 percent of men engage in friendly sex chat, while only 42 percent of them do so within the relationship.
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One thing to keep in mind: These results came from a survey of 1,000 Match.com users, so it could just be that single and dating people are more likely to talk about sex with their friends than with these people they're newly seeing. When you've been in a relationship for a while, it becomes a little weirder to talk about your sex life with your social circle (after all, they know him now). So maybe if they reached out to a wider group of people, the results wouldn't be as extreme.
That said, we get why it's fun and comfortable to talk sex with your friends. Telling your girlfriend about the orgasm of your life makes it a little bit better, and swapping stories about sex fails is bonding on a whole other level. That said, it's important to have these conversations with the person you're having sex with, too. After all, they can really do something with this intel. And we don't just mean pillow talk. Yes,communication between the sheets is key, but it's also important to discuss pleasure when you're not hot and bothered—like when you're making breakfast or when you're out on a walk.
Being able to talk comfortably about what turns you on and what your fantasies are (hello, beach sex) have been shown to strengthen your relationship, increase desire, and improve your health. Discussing sex with your guy can also help iron out those delicate issues like how often you have sex or how stress from outside your relationship might be affecting your sex life. It’s way better to hash out your issues with your dude in person than to broadcast them to your friends who can’t actually do anything about the fact that you don’t enjoy missionary position or that he’s too tired after work to get busy.
So the next time you're so tempted to tell your friend about the totally-out-of-nowhere sex move that blew your mind last night, text your partner instead. Make a conscious effort to talk about intimacy more, and your sex life will follow suit. Clueless about how to talk to him about this stuff? Use these tips to communicate more effectively in your relationship.
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